It’s official. We only have each other, no one else. Fuck everyone else and their bullshit. They don’t want to help us, fine. We will help ourselves and each other. We don’t need anyone else as long as we have each other. I love you, and we will get where we’re going. I have faith and hope in our life and one day, all this stress, hard work, and fatigue will pay off to what will be the happiest life of all.
#tedloveskelly Come sit in my car, and relax. Make yourself comfortable. Let me kiss your lips. And then, I’m gonna suck my teeth deep into your neck. I’m gonna suck your damn-fucking blood and spit it into your mouth. I’m gonna shove my tongue in your mouth as far as I can and dig my nails into the back of your neck until you bleed. I’m gonna rip your pants off and shove your dick in me as hard and deep as possible, while I’m sucking more of that yummy blood out. I’m gonna taste your fucking blood while fucking you, and you’re gonna fucking love it.
You know what I want? I want to cuddle. I want to be in your arms and lay there talking and laughing. Tickle me. Kiss me. Kiss my lips. Kiss my neck. Kiss my forehead. Kiss my fingers. Kiss my hands. Kiss my belly. Tickle me all over. Do you notice how much I smile and laugh, even when I say, “Nuuuuu, stop itttt.” It’s because I love the cute playfulness. I love cuddling you. And that’s what I want right now. To be in your arms, safe and sound.
In the beginning, there was Charmed…
When I was about 9 years old, I went over to my aunt’s house and she was watching Charmed. I had grown up in a Christian home and family, so my first reaction was, “That’s the Devil’s work!” She reassured me that she didn’t believe in it and said, “Kel, it’s just a show.” I shrugged and let it go. Well, when I was 10, my mom got remarried and we moved to Michigan. This is when I started to actually get into watching tv, other than just music channels. I would watch lots of different shows on lots of different channels. One day, I just happened to turn it to TNT which Charmed was on. At this point, I was about 12 years old. I remembered that I had thought it was evil and that my aunt had just told me it was a show. So as I remembered it was just a show, I decided to give it a shot and watch an episode. I cannot remember what episode it was but I remember I loved the ever-living fuck out of it. So I noted what time it came on and decided to watch it from there on out. I bought Season One that way I could start from the beginning. I liked this show so much, I would research the chants and everything I possibly could online, that was JUST related to that show. I looked up all the characters’ names, including Elders and Demons. At that point, I had actually started to write my own story off of one of the Demons. I kept my own little Charmed journal, and hid it because I didn’t want my mom to freak out. Well, one day, she found it and started freaking out, saying that I am becoming a witch. I told her, “No mom, remember?! Diane said it was just a show. I’m just playing along!” So she called my aunt and told her the situation. My aunt started freaking out as well, blaming herself for me taking such a high interest in this show. At the time, I wasn’t really into the witchcraft, I just wanted to act like I was part of the show. To this day, I see nothing wrong with that. Kids use their imagination for all sorts of things. My mom was so freaked out, that she pretty much made me give it all up.
It’s a few years down the road now and we have moved to a different house in a different city, because we needed more room. My mom still had my Season One pack and I had no idea where my journal was, but we had gotten Dish cable. So the first thing I did was started watching Charmed again, but this time, that’s all I did was watch. And watch. And watch. I recorded episodes to watch later. And that was just my favorite thing to do. I wanna say that I was around 14 or 15 at this time. Eventually, I got interested in the spells they were using and so I googled “Spells.” I found stuff that didn’t make much sense to me. I saw all of this information about a god and goddess and I instantly thought, “Maybe I shouldn’t be looking into this. It doesn’t make any sense and I don’t believe there is a woman god along with God.” (Again, I was raised Christian.) So I pretty much just ignored it and kept watching the show.
Now, a few more years passed and I was in high school, worrying about college, and all that jazz. I was 17 years old. I had started getting back into looking that stuff up. Just basic Charmed information. Well, I graduated when I was 17 and started college that fall. My roommate (loweenelizabeth) had introduced me to tumblr. I started looking up stuff about Wicca, because that was the only thing at the time I had found from my “spells” research. As I read more and more about it, I became comfortable with the fact that this was who I was. All of it made sense. Every single bit. I was still trying to grasp the God and Goddess aspect, but everything else fell into place.
So I called myself a Christa-Wiccan for a short bit of time, then realized that my Christianity was fading away. I was starting to realize that the Bible was full of contradictions and nothing felt right inside of it for me. When I was 18 years old, the summer after my first (and only) year of college, I met my fiance, Teddy. He happened to be into witchcraft as well, and knew I was a witch before I did. He says he could “just tell.” LOL. I was, and am, very fortunate to have someone that had the same interests and lifestyle as I did. He is Wiccan.
So time went on, and we are living a great spiritual/witchy life and then one day, I was on a forum. Someone had told me a very complex definition as to what Wicca really is, and it was believable. I cannot remember what this definition was, nor can I find it anywhere online. (Also, cannot remember the name of the site with the forum.) It was more than just the Gardnerian definition or the Dianic definition, it was something I didn’t quite understand myself but what I did grasp, made lots of sense. So since I was so confused about what was said, I felt it made more sense to call myself Pagan.
This stick true to this day, more so because of the fact that I have so many different concepts, practices, etc that go beyond Wicca. I do celebrate the Sabbats, and believe in the God and Goddess. BUT, I also look at the dark aspects. I love learning about demons and dark magic. I do believe in the Three-fold Law, but I don’t use it as a law, I use it as advice, as well as the Wiccan Rede. I go by it, but do not use it as a law. I do believe in cursing, but I will never do it loosely and willy-nilly. I do incorporate Native American traditions into my practice because, HELLO, I am Native American. (Please do not start with the cultural appropriation shit, not having it)
I do not call myself a specific type of witch, because my concepts/ideas/beliefs vary so much. I love using herbs and spices like a kitchen witch, but I love the planting and gardening in cottage witchcraft as well. I like working with faeries, but also all folklore creatures. I have deities, but I yearn knowledge of demons. My deities lean toward Greeks Gods and Goddesses, but my spirit guide is a wolf. I use candles and oils. I have an altar cloth that I use on the floor, and not my altar. I have an altar that is three shelves, rather than just a table. I use incense and fragrance oils. I use tea as a part of my witchcraft. Sometimes I make my own little blends with herbs, without the actual tea. I don’t cast a circle usually, use bells, or do the wine and cakes thing. I use a scrying mirror but not a crystal ball. I use a crystal pendulum but not dowsing rods. I do meditation, but I also do yoga. When I do meditation, I usually get to my “place” but using a drumbeat trance song. Point being, I have so many different customs and practices that it is just best to call myself Pagan, as that is what I am most comfortable with.
And that is where I am today.
I’m sorry. I’m sorry I offended you and I’m sorry that I caused you all to hate me. But I am not sorry for my post. It remains. I am not going to apologize about how I feel. I should have maybe worded it better and less angry, but that’s how I felt. If people honestly get so offended by that, I can’t do anything about that. I’m sorry it offended you, but I cannot and will not change my opinion only because people are insulting me with “You’re offensive and rude.” People didn’t understand the point of my post. The only one that did was my fiance. I hope I do not lose the lovely tumblr friends I have because of this. And if I do, I’m sorry.
It is all said and done and we can all move on now.
I hate when people say they do free tarot readings and to ask them for one. So then you ask them, very nicely. (I also always put “if not, it’s totally fine”) But then they don’t reply or post a reading or anything. I understand people need time to do the readings, but you could at least say “Sure, not a problem.” And if that’s too fucking time consuming for you, a simple “Yes” will do. I also understand some people don’t reply, they just put up the reading when they are done. All fine and dandy, but if it takes more than a week, I would suggest letting your “clients” know. You may be busy, but so are we. May be busy with work, may be busy with tumblr. It’s no one’s business. But I do know one thing…No one wants to sit there and refresh a person’s blog for 8 hours everyday, waiting to see the result. Simple courtesy would be nice. And if you choose not to do a reading, for whichever reason, at least gives us a “No” or a “Fuck you.” Not hard, folks.
